he got me (soaking wet)

So. I'm still here in San Diego, tired from a long week of job hunting - trying to continually be walking outside of my comfort zone. And had a long week of training right before this.

In the last couple days I've just felt drained - emotionally and physically. I felt like I was running out of steps to take. I came down here following God, but as I neared the end of the second week (now) I was feeling kinda lost. I hadn't expected to find a job right away and be headed off to who-knows-where by now, but I did expect to be more. . . well, confident or content, knowing I had done what God said. I felt like I wasn't hearing God in a step by step way these last couple days. I felt like I was merely continuing to do what I'd heard Him say at the beginning, but wasn't hearing any new direction. And I really felt like I needed some. =)

Yesterday, my last day on the "dockwalk," was good though. I snuck back into the largest of the marinas here and talked to crew members on three more megayachts and gave out my resume. They were all really nice, having been in my shoes before, and said they'd see what they can do for me. But after that there really wasn't anything else I could do. I'd done all the docks and talked to the crews, made inquiries at several local maintenance companies and even turned in job applications at a yacht club and marina (cuz getting a job around yachts would at least be another step closer).

I was feeling like, okay God, I've gone as far as I can here. Now what? And I wasn't hearing an answer. So I spent this rainy Saturday inside with some good food and watched messages from a favorite minister, Keith Moore, among other things, like checking in on the olympics, journalling (always good - need to do that more =) and watching a TV special about a little place called Gander, Newfoundland, that played a beautiful role on Sept. 11, 2001 and the days following (moved me to tears).

But I was really encouraged by Keith's teaching about following God's promptings all the time; being in constant conversation with Him about everything, no matter how big or small. That's what I'd lost in the last few days - I'd dropped the conversation! And so I began to just talk to Him again. And He talked back. And see, it's not necessarily that He'd been silent, because He may have been speaking all along without me hearing. It's when I'm deliberate about having that conversational relationship with Him that I'm tuned in to hear what He's saying.

So I got to the end of one of the sermons and got up to take a walk with the dog. I was saying, God, I feel like I left you somewhere back there. What do I do from here? And He said simply, just come back. =) (He smiles a lot =) He wants that casual, conversational relationship because it's from there that we can most easily hear His instruction-- or more, His heart. He's always ready to share with us.

I was getting ready to head out when I thought of something I needed to do on the computer, but He said, i thought we're going on a walk. I thought, it'll only take a few minutes and then we'll go. He said, no. grab your sweatshirt and let's go! A hint of urgency in His command. =) And then I remembered, this is GOD I'm talking to. . . Right. Grab sweatshirt. Go. Haha. Love it.

So I grabbed it, got the dog on the leash and we left. Now. . . it had poured this morning and showered a couple times during the day, but it'd been dry for hours. There were clouds and a crisp breeze, but it wasn't gonna rain. So we walked out and down the hill a ways, five or so minutes, Megan (the dog) sniffing around at things and me simply enjoying the chill and the view and thanking God for it when. . .

It started POURING. I mean, all at once! It was, by far, the heaviest rain I've EVER experienced! The only rain I know that compares to it fell on us in Tecate, Mexico, several Thanksgiving's ago when the drops where easily the size of marbles! I was laughing and must've been grinning from ear to ear. He did this on purpose! Everywhere was puddle! I was drenched almost instantly! I could barely see across the street, the rain was so thick! We ran. And when we got back to the house the rain stopped. Of course. =) I was soaked! I couldn't have been wetter if I'd climbed out of a pool with all my clothes on! Soaked. . . to. the. bone. It was the most fun I've had in a long time. Pure. Joy. =D

And the best part? I knew if I had gone to the computer instead of listening to His prompting to just leave, I would have completely missed all that! He got me! =) He got me good! And you can bet that's kept us talking since!