(no) condemnation!

Why is sin so often preached from the pulpit? I don’t mean ministers are encouraging people to sin, but that they’re making sure no one forgets we’re sinners. That we’re unworthy creatures who don’t deserve the love and grace and mercy of God.

It’s not that that’s not true, we don't deserve those gifts, but it’s not the whole truth. Focusing on our sin or the sin nature of man is damaging and what we need is encouragement to believe and walk in the truth that we are "the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus". We need to encourage each other to find strength in the joy of our salvation and to approach God with boldness! When you feel guilty and condemned of something it’s very hard to be bold and confident.

“Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he commanded us.” -1 John 3:21-23

See that? If "our heart", not "if God does not condemn us." I heard a great sermon recently and the pastor said, “If you get a revelation of righteousness it’ll do amazing things for your faith.” See, God does not condemn us. Period. Condemnation comes from Satan, other people and ourselves. And it’s when our hearts do not condemn us that our faith is made strong, that "we have confidence before God”, it says there in verse 21.

It is impossible to please him without faith and it’s nearly impossible to live and walk in faith and speak in faith when what we believe and what we’re being reminded of over and over again is that we’re messed up, unworthy, sorry excuses for Christ followers. Jesus redeemed us! Right?! What does that mean to you? We’ve been saved by his sacrifice and in exchange for our sin and shame he made us righteous! We now have the same claim to the kingdom as Jesus does. We're joint heirs with him.

During my visit to another church a while back the pastor went so far as to say that because we're given that love and grace and mercy undeservedly, "we need to make ourselves acceptable to God. We need to make ourselves vessels of honor." No. What we need is that revelation of our redeemed life! And in that we'll be standing on His truth and His promise to us rather than trying to make our own.

We should desire to be worthy vessels, for sure. Receiving love is meant to make us want to be better, to be worthy, and is meant to motivate in us right and noble actions. But to take it upon ourselves to make ourselves worthy of the love is to discount it. It's not even about the love anymore, it's about us.

When Jesus stumped all the would-be stoners (hehe, stoners =P) in John 8 who brought him the woman who'd been caught in adultery, what did he say to her after everyone else had dropped their rocks and gone home? He asked her who had condemned her. Her accusers had all left. "No one." And then Jesus shows us the Father's heart toward us. "Neither do I condemn you."

Wow.

If anyone has a right to condemn us (to condemn this woman who was, in fact, guilty), it's Jesus. He took every sin and every ounce of evil we can come up with on himself and still he does not condemn us. Because that's why he took it on himself. To bring us freedom from condemnation! To make us righteous and give us his authority and spirit! Abundant life.

Now he did say to her, "go and sin no more." And he says that to us now. And we should let the gratitude and love we have for him motivate that desire and resolve in us to choose rightly. But notice what he didn't say. =) What he's not saying.

He didn't say, "I forgive you... because I'm amazing and you're ridiculous." He didn't say, "I just wanna make sure you really understand how bad you were back there." He. Does. Not. Condemn. =) He doesn't try to make her or us feel bad.

When you feel condemnation, recognize it's source, whether from a friend or family member or your own heart. Take a look and honestly repent if there's something there that shouldn't be, but let it go. Certainly don't condemn others. God does not condemn us in order to get us on the right track. He doesn't do it to refine us or build our character. He doesn't. Do it. The enemy does it to steal our faith. It's sneaky cuz we buy into it sooo easily, thinking it's God's disappointment in us, like he's guilt-tripping us (deservedly). Haha. Ahhh.

God, I ask that you give us a revelation of our righteousness in you, in Jesus. Help us to live and move and speak in the freedom you've given us so that our faith may grow and please you more and more. We accept your gift of righteousness and thank you for it! We are your sons and daughters! Heirs to your kingdom! And we are NOT condemned.

soul food

So. I found myself back at my buddy's church on Sunday night! It was sooner than I expected, but it was just in time... for dinner!

Being that it's Black History Month (or was a few minutes ago) the church decided to have a "Soul Food Fellowship" as a way to celebrate (great idea, I have to say! =) Mmm!).

Again, I was welcomed in with such kindness and enthusiasm I couldn't help but be delighted to be there! We worshipped and then my buddy and a few others put on a great skit, in which he played a French chef/food critic (he stole the show), complete with baret and a ridiculous accent (brought back fond memories of 16 year old me on a fine day in speech class). His character was a guest critic on a food show, unwittingly sampling soul food treats like salted pigtail, chitlins and hog maw (I'll let you google those =).

Fortunately, they'd determined this would be a "heart healthy" experience and left the above-mentioned delicacies off the menu (whew!).

We got a little history lesson in the origins of soul food (look it up... or don't. Whatever. =) and then headed for the dining room. Ugh, we could smell it all as soon as we stepped out of the sanctuary to go to the other building!

Banquet tables lined the walls, loaded with big bowls and steaming pots, rows of trays and piles of eating utensils... and napkins. We ate dinner standing, mingling and chitchatting, moving around and across the room to get seconds of "winners" and find that one that "you just have to taste!" It reminded me of a particularly extravagant banquet scene in Catching Fire, the second book in The Hunger Games trilogy. The pastor likened it to a Saturday afternoon in Costco. =P

I don't know that I've ever had that many different dishes in one meal! We had chicken stew and fried fish and red beans (YUM, not kidding)! Green beans, lima beans, black-eyed peas and roasted tomatoes and onions. We had collard greens, roasted beets, dirty rice, sauteed carrots and roasted peppers! And we drank a hot lemongrass and honey tea to wash it all down. It was simply amazing.

It was all overseen by "Master Chef Ruth", a warm, yet coool and collected, yet enthusiastic woman who, when my buddy introduced me, immediately took me by the arm and pulled me around to all of her favorite dishes (hers, naturally =). She'd hand me a serving of one thing and before I could take a bite would grab it back and combine it with another and another before giving me the nod to go ahead! There was okra in some kind of amazing red sauce with corn and the best roast chicken I've ever tasted. There was a deeelicious cold tomato, cucumber and onion salad marinated in rice vinegar that tasted so fresh and vibrant - kinda like a Greek salad I had with a bunch of friends in a seafood market on an island near Athens a few years ago (ahhh =). Ugh, my mouth is watering. I'll be right back.

And for dessert?! Blueberry pudding pie, peach cobbler and peanut butter and banana quesadillas! Wait, what?!! Yeah... a.k.a. the Elvis Quesadilla. Not sure if this is traditional soul food, but it was reeeally good. And no way was I gonna question Master Chef Ruth (it was one of her special dishes). I actually just looked this one up to see if I could find the answer and saw someone's recipe for it (as if peanut butter and banana in a tortilla requires instructions). In their description they said, "This is soooo goood! I love it more than my 2 year old!" See? I'm telling you...

I think I ate 15 or 16 different dishes that night, more than a few of which I'd never tasted before! What a fun, extravagant, rich Father we have! Rich in every way! In provision of food, fun, relationship, health, joy! It was a good example, I guess-- or reminder of how He wants to satisfy us. And the delight He takes in blessing us this way too! I'm just thinking, we can see something of God's personality in the way Ruth grabbed my arm! He's excited for us, wanting us to taste and see His goodness in this life!

And what's funny is I left there totally satisfied.

Knowing I wanted more.

=Drew

(dis)connected

On Monday (I had the day off for Presidents Day, God bless America!) I took a quick glance at Facebook and saw some fun pictures of a good friend, Alex Rae, at her bridal shower (so many friends are getting married! Man. Doesn't the Bible say something about this? "You will hear of wars and rumors of wars and all your friends will get married and forget about you, but don't be alarmed. Such things must happen"?). The shower was on Sunday, which I knew cuz another good friend, Kaeli, went and couldn't hang out with "the boys" after church. =( (Secret: we didn't miss her that much. =P Pizza and... stuff... are maaarvelous distractions.)

I was just clicking away from the pictures when something caught my eye. The little newsfeed line about Alex said, "tagged in [so and so's] album." That name seemed really familiar, but I couldn't place it right away. I thought, of course it's familiar, I see names of friends' friends on here all the time. But I didn't quite think that was it.

I clicked on the name and it was suddenly clear (pictures are helpful like that). This girl, one of my friend's friends from when they were little kids... is one of my coworkers!

(Okay, okay. So we missed you, Kaeli. A lot. =)

That's why that name looks familiar! I see her emails every day! I see her every day! We work in different departments, but we knew who each other were and had talked before when we needed to adjust meeting schedules or whatnot. But it's weird to think how easily so much time can go by without two people in close quarters knowing they have a really good mutual friend.

And then it got cooler. We talked on Tuesday (first day of the work week, God bless America!) and she said, "Yeah and I talked to your other friend too!" Think, think, think. "Oh, Kaeli?!" "Yeah!"

Kaeli asked her at the shower what she does for work and she said she's a VFX coordinator. Kaeli said, "Oh, one of my friends is a visual effects coordinator! Where do you work?" My coworker told me she thought something like, there're lots of VFX places - no chance. "Zoic Studios."

Haha, how cool, right?! Alex and my coworker have been friends for years and years. She went to the church I grew up going to! And we realized at work the other day that we must've been at a bunch of the same parties and gatherings at Alex's house over the years and just not recognized each other when we both ended up at Zoic! Haha, "and the awesome pizza's her dad always makes on the barbecue?!" "YES!!" She thinks she may even have pictures from some of the parties with me in them. =P

Life is fun, ya know? So many paths crossing and crisscrossing back and forth! Oh man, I just remembered another one!!! When I road-tripped to Telluride, CO for Thanksgiving this last year I stopped in Zion in Utah on my way back to California. (That's actually prolly worth sharing some pictures from. Maybe I'll do that later.) It was early morning in the canyon and I stopped to chat with a some guys who were capturing awesome time-lapse footage of the sunrise over the mountains with a cool mechanical camera rig. We talked for a few minutes about where we'd been traveling (they'd just spent the night camping in the freezing cold, if I remember correctly) and about their setup, which made them curious how I was familiar with their gear and fluent in their lingo. Turned out one of the guys went to art school with and is good buddies of a VFX artist I was working with at Zoic at the time!

The point (or thought, maybe) is, I feel like we could have these kinds of encounters more often and discover more of these connections that surely exist and move around us without our knowledge if we were more awake to life or the Spirit (kinda the same thing?). I wanna be connected (big life picture, not career path or goal wise). I want my interactions with people to mean something and be memorable, to them and to me! To hint that there's a larger story going on around us and that we're part of it!

I'm inviting you, God, to show me more of the crisscrosses I've been oblivious to... cuz I think you like it. =) I know I do.

(not) surprised

I went to a movie night at a coworker's church last Sunday.  He'd invited me a month or so ago (prefaced with, "I don't usually invite people to the ghetto") and he didn't respond to my text on Sunday when I tried to confirm (I realized the Grammy's were on and I might've mixed up my dates).  I'd committed, though, and since I couldn't get in touch with him I Google-mapped the church name and went out, hoping something would be happening when I got there. =)

And I'm glad I did.  I was the only white person there and I felt like I was with-- no, I was with family.

I showed up and was glad to see cars in the lot, but thought for a moment I might be in the wrong place when a woman said, "Hi!" and asked who invited me... and didn't know my friend.  She knew I'd been invited by someone, which I assumed was because she knew everyone else, but probably had more to do with the fact that I kinda stood out. =P

I made sure there was indeed a movie night happening (not wanting to walk empty-handed into a potluck or male into a women's Bible study on Song of Solomon) and went in.

I met a couple delightfully friendly people before hearing my buddy from across the sanctuary.  "Duuude!"  (When I think of this guy I hear that in my head every time - he kinda says it a lot.  A lot, a lot. =) He was surpriiised to see me.  He's got a new phone number so hadn't gotten my text (a text which funnily led to a text conversation with someone named Cathy later that night who now has my buddy's old number).  He wasn't counting on me being there.

The movie was Courageous, a Christian-made cop drama with a good message and production quality.  It's one of the better "Christian movies" I've seen and I recommend it.

There were little kids glued to the police action and parents with infants in their arms and grandparents and teenagers all laughing together and grimacing together and feeling together.  It was really fun.  The congregation discussed the movie afterward; people sharing their thoughts and favorite moments; raising questions, etc., which felt natural and enjoyable.  These people were honest and caring and willing to be vulnerable with each other like family (should be).  I could see and hear brokenness and hurt in the lives around me and in the ways they related to different aspects of the movie, but there was a real joy and hope at the same time!  I had such a good time.

I thought the evening was over when the pastor said, "Well, it's been a great night..." and I was ready to make the drive home, but then he was saying, "...so do we have any first time visitors tonight?"  Haha, it makes me chuckle to think about it cuz I swear everyone in there knew exactly who he was talking to.  Me.

I laughed and raised my hand and he "found me" in the crowd =P and said something like, "Wonderful!  So glad to to have you here with us! Stand up and tell us about yourself!  Who are you, where are you from, who do you know, what'd you think?!"  My buddy seemed a little embarrassed or something at me being "put on the spot", but I was strangely happy about it!  I already felt like hugging everyone.  I stood up (and a guy ran over with a mic =) and it felt so easy and free, talking to them, being a welcomed part of their family.  I thanked them all and said I'd be back again, which I will!

I met my buddy's mom (who happens to have very good taste in movies - she told him to watch Warrior and then he told me - so. good.) and shook hands and hugged and said goodnight to people like we'd known each other for years.

And as I drove home, truly refreshed and and delighted by God, looking forward to seeing all these people again, I wondered...

Why is the Body so disjointed?  Why am I so surprised to feel this love and friendship with other believers just cuz I didn't know them when I got up this morning?  I shouldn't be.

It says something, I think, about the condition of the church as a whole.  We let denominations and preferences in worship music and tradition and ritual and dress codes separate us from each other, from the Body.  We say we're all brothers and sisters and all part of a whole, but do we act like it?  Do you ever go to other churches?  Like, outside of your denomination?  Would your friends or leaders?  Would you... be "allowed" to?  Seriously, people go to churches across the street from each other and act as if the other doesn't exist.  You see churches interacting with and reaching out to the world, but do you see them interacting with each other?  Acting like they're family?  Like they're all children of the same Father (all "adopted")?  Isn't it possible that some kind of good could come from at least knowing some of our brothers and sisters?  Our fellow soldiers?

(small) reminders

I've been going to a new church, Reality LA, since mid May. I heard about it through a couple friends; one who attended the high school group and another my age who I now see every Sunday. =) I don't know who all knows this already, but yeah, that's my church. It's been really good - I'll prolly say more in a later post.

The story for this time is that last night I (finally) went to one of the several community groups they have around the LA area! It was a really good night of Bible study, worship and discussion based on the message that was taught on Sunday (which reminds me I wanna watch the sermon cuz I was out of town with friends in CO, which is also worth talking about... later).

Toward the end we split into smaller groups and shared with each other where we're at and things we're going through, praying for each other and getting to know each other a little as fellow journeyers. And I was really encouraged by that experience, especially the group prayer and the honesty and vulnerability in that. It's something that used to be more regular in my life, but I see has been lacking in the last few years.

One of the great gifts of Christian fellowship is being able to share our thoughts and concerns and praises with others who are likewise walking with God and wanting to give and receive support. When I think about "fellowship" I'm reminded of Lord of the Rings and the awesome example of what fellowship can be. We're meant to be a group of people united by our cause, journeying together, spurring each other on, lifting each other up! We have each other's backs! We want to see each other succeed because we're parts of a whole!

I think it's easy to forget or discount the blessing it is to really pray for each other and pray with each other! It's such an encouragement to be united with others, asking and believing together for God's presence and favor and grace and mercy in our lives, for our relationships, in trials and on and on. And I believe it delights God. =)

Anyway, it was really good and I look forward to continuing in that fellowship. But what got me going on all this was... a bug.

We prayed and shared prayer requests last night and I left there really grateful and wanting to live my life more like that all the time. I shared with a friend while driving home that I realized and felt convicted about how little time I spend praying for others and for "big picture" things, like our government leaders and for our fellowship as a whole. My prayers and thoughts have been so "me" focussed and I want that to change.

Aaanyway, I went out to the car this morning thinking about work, having completely forgotten about the things God stirred up in me last night. And there on the top of my door was this Praying Mantis. =) It was a sweet little reminder from God that brought everything from the night before rushing back and turned my heart toward His. And having this little picture helps me remember to pray and to dwell on things of God.

God's pretty great, huh? =)

don't hold your breath

An excerpt from one of John Eldredge's books that really encouraged me this morning...

Flip with me for a moment through the photo album of your heart, and collect a few of your most treasured memories. Recall a time in your life when you felt really special, a time when you knew you were loved. The day you got engaged perhaps. Or a childhood Christmas. Maybe a time with your grandparents.

Hold your memory while you gather another, a time of real adventure, such as when you first learned to ride a bike, or galloped on a horse, or perhaps did something exciting on a vacation. Now, we were meant to live in a world like that - every day. Just as our lungs are made to breathe oxygen, our souls are designed to flourish in an atmosphere rich in love and meaning, security and significance, intimacy and adventure. But we don't live in that world anymore. Far from it. Though we try to resolve the dilemma by disowning our desire, it doesn't work. It is the soul's equivalent of holding our breath. Eventually, we find ourselves gasping for air. (Desire, 71-72)

"we do a bad thing here"

"Honest communication in love is the only way to live and grow in friendship." - Captivating, John and Stasi Eldredge

I took that to heart when I read it a few years ago and must say I've found it to be true... by trial and error.  =\

Yeah, you may get to know someone better over time without being totally honest or transparent with them, you know, leaving certain things unsaid, like that something your friend does bugs you orrr that you like someone more than they want you to. Things may be more comfortable or "manageable" if you don't share everything, but without real honesty, without really opening yourself up and being vulnerable you're not going to really grow. The only way to really be known is to let yourself BE known.

Think of the times you were with a friend or sibling or parent and really felt close to them. I bet those moments were times you shared something deeper, maybe more "secret" about yourselves than you normally do with people. They told you about something they're worried or insecure about or you really tried to tell them how much they mean to you.

I can tell right now this'll probably be another one of those rambling entries I feel dissatisfied with because I couldn't quite communicate it all the way I feel it. Just being honest. =) So this is an exercise for me, making a point of letting people know what I think and feel in this messy way even though I'd like to wait and hold onto it and edit it over and over again until it's all said just right.

Anyway.

Isn't that what we all want, to reeeally be known? Not just for people to know what we like or don't like or to spend time with us. We want people to know the real us! It can be a scary thought, I think, the idea of letting people know the real you. Cuz there're a lot of things about who we are and who we've been that we wish were different.

That passage from Captivating goes on to say, "There are ebbs and flows. There may be real hurt and disappointment. But with the grace of God firmly holding us, it is possible to nurture and sustain deep friendships. We are designed to live in relationship and share in the lives of other [people]. We need one another. God knows that. We have only to ask and surrender, to wait, to hope, and, in faith, to love."

The keys there are at the end, I think. Ask. Surrender. Normally I'd focus on the "to love" part because ultimately that is THE key, but my point here is about being deliberate in relationship with others. If I want to see growth in any relationship I have I have to "ask" for it (be deliberate) and not only be willing to surrender, but to come into it already surrendered. If you can approach a relationship already surrendered to the other person, wanting to be known in the love of friendship, growth will happen.

I kinda feel like this next part, which is actually what inspired this entry, doesn't quite fit where I've gone anymore, but whatever.

Some friends and I recently watched "500 Days of Summer" and this one scene stood out to me. Tom, the main guy, is a greeting card writer and tells his coworkers right before he quits, "It's these cards and the movies and the pop songs, they're to blame for all the lies and the heartache, everything. We're responsible. I'M responsible. I think we do a bad thing here. People should be able to say how they feel, how they really feel, not ya know, some words that some stranger put in their mouth."

I'm not saying that greeting cards are bad. =Duh. What got me was his frustration at a life where no one was willing to be vulnerable, to actually open up and say... well, just say, I guess. People want to be seen and known as being good, as having things together, as not needing other people. But we DO need each other. And I know now from experience that letting people in to see the mess, the doubt, the questions, the real desires, it's satisfying. It's uncomfortable sometimes, but even the discomfort, oddly, can feel good because you know it's real.

Does this make sense? Shoot. =P I was all excited when I started cuz I felt like I had a really complete thought about something I feel strongly about and could communicate it clearly.